Are we having fun yet?

 

Are we having fun yet?

Dance with the dogs... 

(September 22, 2026)(October 13, 2026)

When did living become a problem to be solved?  Sometimes we try so hard to get into the proper mindset; become calmer, more wise, to understand emptiness.  We are even trying to overcome attachment, to meditate correctly, or figure out who we are.  Sometimes I get so tangled up in trying to understand an experience that I forget to actually have it. 

Years ago, my first wife had an assignment to do and part of it was to get ‘10x excited’ as a practice to show enthusiasm and ‘be’ that.  She would jump around, yell, throw her arms in the air, whoop whoop, all that.  But it was strained.  She complained she could not ‘feel’ it, and it was not natural or genuine.  She would go and practice in front of the mirror and then come and show me.  To me she seemed like it was working and she was being pretty over the top with it.  She didn’t think so.  It was turning into an analytical discussion about what excitement looked like and what it really was, not so much the actual practice and activity of joy.  At the time we had just adopted some puppies that had been abandoned in the neighborhood.  We had the mother and three pups.  They were only about three or four months old when we got them and as puppies are they are so excited to have food, get attention, or completely lose it when we would get home.  She tried again and again to achieve a 10x exited experience, and every time she did the dogs would go wild.  They would jump up on her, tumble with each other, and run around the house like it was a circus, slobber, tongues and tails, all over the place.  She tried and tried to manufacture that excitedness and there it was right with her all the time. They would jump and wag tails and bark, always amping up to a genuine 10x excited existence.  I mentioned it to her almost in passing, she nor I realized it but her best teachers were there at her feet.   Once we both realized the puppies and that genuine excitement it became naturally contagious and she was able to feed off them as they were feeding off her.   She kind of stopped doing the exercise altogether and just had fun with the puppies.  They just ‘were’ excited, and the only reason was because they thought she was too.  Because she was.  It was a great scene.

This all isn’t about simply finding joy, it’s about what happens when we turn an experience into evaluation.  Once my wife started to try and evaluate whether she was 10 times as excited, she was no longer in the experience, instead we were in a conversation about it.  This happens in meditation all the time. We sit, ‘am I calm yet?’ ‘Is my breathing right?’ all sorts of questions and commentary and questions.  Instead of meditating we have made it into a kind of test or performance review.  I often have done this and in remembering the dogs and her, it helps me remember to be present.  As we were then, that is why it is such a fond and vivid memory, I think.

We can cultivate the conditions for joy, calm, compassion and wisdom.  We cannot simply command them to appear. This is where we can get lost in trying instead of doing (as Yoda said). 

Here, as the whole world goes on, we sometimes stand outside of it, evaluating it, judging it.  Trying to figure it out without participating in it.  We can miss out on the joy that is already happening around us by trying too hard to figure out where and when it is.  When all we have to do is put the book down, let go of the analytic tendency and actually live, or play.   Or, dance with puppies.

Why is it that sometimes we find it difficult to experience the thing we are trying so hard to create?  I have found myself in these same conditions and remember the puppies, to look for that enthusiasm without commanding it to occur.  Letting myself feel without having to discuss with myself or analyze if this is a mindful thing to do.   I find myself being very critical of totally natural states like sadness, excitement, anger.  It is good to feel them, to experience them as they are.  The key is to not only notice it, but to deeply feel them and let go of the analysis paralysis.   I try and catch myself in this and not write another chapter in ‘the serious person’s manual to existence’ and instead put the book down and allow experience to be what it is without deciding whether I am experiencing it correctly.  Sadness doesn’t have to become joy; Anger does not have to become calmness. Excitement does not have to reach ten times.  Sometimes we can examine our emotions, other times we can simply experience them.  Both can be right.

It appears all I have to do is remember to put down the book and dance with the dogs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT IF FIGHTING FEEDS IT? The story of Milarepa and the demons.

 

WHAT IF FIGHTING FEEDS IT? The story of Milarepa and the demons.

September 11, 2026

Sweeping demons in Milarepa's cave

  

  When we encounter something unpleasant, our instinct is to change it. Anxiety? Stop it. Anger? Get rid of it. Grief? Get through it. Fear? Conquer it. Sadness? Cheer up. Troubling thoughts? Stop thinking about them. But what if those efforts sometimes make things worse?There is an old story about the sage Milarepa. After gathering firewood, he returned to find his cave full of demons. First, he tried to shoo them away. Then he fought them and attempted to teach them the Dharma, but nothing worked. It sounds as though he needed an exterminator—or at least a better demon-removal strategy.Frustrated, Milarepa tried again and again to fight, chase, and beg the demons to leave. Still, nothing worked. Finally, he simply accepted that they were there, and, as if by magic, many of them disappeared. One remained: a huge, terrifying demon with enormous teeth and a fierce presence. Milarepa placed his head inside its mouth, allowing it to do whatever it would. Then, in a flash, it disappeared too.So, is the lesson simply accepting everything? No. I have often assumed that if something was painful, frightening, embarrassing, disturbing, or otherwise a problem, my task was to make it go away. Sometimes, however, that effort feeds the very thing I am trying to escape. As the old saying goes, “What we resist persists.”Another familiar idea is that “the obstacle is the path.” We may think, “This demon is keeping me from practicing. Once I get rid of it, I can finally practice deeply.” Yet dealing with the demon may be the practice itself. Eventually, we may realize that the struggle to eliminate it is part of what keeps it alive.I have often thought that practice was something I could begin after dealing with whatever was “interfering” with my progress. I applied this thinking to noisy neighbors, difficult people, anxiety, anger, grief, pain, and restlessness. I assumed that once I got past these distractions, I could finally practice. The important distinction I discovered was that meeting those distractions was the practice.For example, I recently had surgery, and my sleep schedule became badly disrupted during recovery. I would wake up at 1:30 a.m. and remain awake for a long time. I fought it, telling myself, “I have to sleep because that is when healing happens.” Yet there I would lie, completely awake. When I noticed myself thinking, I would command, “Stop thinking! Stop thinking!” That was my demon.Once I relaxed and stopped fighting so hard, I realized that I could simply rest instead of forcing myself to sleep. Soon, I would drift back to sleep on my own.There is an important distinction here: acceptance does not mean helplessness. It does not mean tolerating harm, ignoring danger, or refusing to act. Instead, it may require changing our idea of the problem, especially when the experience is already happening and we are in the middle of fighting it.I often look to Buddhism for better ways to get rid of my demons. Sometimes its answer is simply, “Sit. Here is a cushion.”The questions to ask are: What am I fighting right now? Does it need to be fought? Am I making it stronger by resisting it? What might happen if, even for a moment, I gave up the struggle? Perhaps then I could glimpse a path toward release and acceptance.AT IF FIGHTING FEEDS IT? The story of Milarepa and the demons. 

When we encounter something unpleasant, our instinct is to change it. Anxiety? Stop it. Anger? Get rid of it. Grief? Get through it. Fear? Conquer it. Sadness? Cheer up. Troubling thoughts? Stop thinking about them. But what if those efforts sometimes make things worse?

There is an old story about the sage Milarepa. After gathering firewood, he returned to find his cave full of demons. First, he tried to shoo them away. Then he fought them and attempted to teach them the Dharma, but nothing worked. It sounds as though he needed an exterminator—or at least a better demon-removal strategy.

Frustrated, Milarepa tried again and again to fight, chase, and beg the demons to leave. Still, nothing worked. Finally, he simply accepted that they were there, and, as if by magic, many of them disappeared. One remained: a huge, terrifying demon with enormous teeth and a fierce presence. Milarepa placed his head inside its mouth, allowing it to do whatever it would. Then, in a flash, it disappeared too.

So, is the lesson simply accepting everything? No. I have often assumed that if something was painful, frightening, embarrassing, disturbing, or otherwise a problem, my task was to make it go away. Sometimes, however, that effort feeds the very thing I am trying to escape. As the old saying goes, “What we resist persists.”

Another familiar idea is that “the obstacle is the path.” We may think, “This demon is keeping me from practicing. Once I get rid of it, I can finally practice deeply.” Yet dealing with the demon may be the practice itself. Eventually, we may realize that the struggle to eliminate it is part of what keeps it alive.

I have often thought that practice was something I could begin after dealing with whatever was “interfering” with my progress. I applied this thinking to noisy neighbors, difficult people, anxiety, anger, grief, pain, and restlessness. I assumed that once I got past these distractions, I could finally practice. The important distinction I discovered was that meeting those distractions was the practice.

For example, I recently had surgery, and my sleep schedule became badly disrupted during recovery. I would wake up at 1:30 a.m. and remain awake for a long time. I fought it, telling myself, “I have to sleep because that is when healing happens.” Yet there I would lie, completely awake. When I noticed myself thinking, I would command, “Stop thinking! Stop thinking!” That was my demon.

Once I relaxed and stopped fighting so hard, I realized that I could simply rest instead of forcing myself to sleep. Soon, I would drift back to sleep on my own.

There is an important distinction here: acceptance does not mean helplessness. It does not mean tolerating harm, ignoring danger, or refusing to act. Instead, it may require changing our idea of the problem, especially when the experience is already happening and we are in the middle of fighting it.

A more important distinction is this.  If your demon is addiction,  'invite the demon in' does not mean invite the addiciton back into your life.  Not surrendering to a craving, we can still see maybe the demon isn't the addiction at all.  It is what happens to us, inside us when the addiction starts calling.  The craving, fear, loneliness.  The little voice says, 'just this once'  and you can still just not partake.  That is powerful.   Remember as Milarepa tries to get rid of the demons he becomes increasingly forceful, they become more stuck and stubborn.  He does not give up and let them have run of the place just like you don't have to give up and let the craving take you.  Once you get to the point where you can really be with the idea that 'there IS craving'.  And to boot, don't think of the demons as the addiction, it is what you are trying to 'treat' (loneliness, fear, frustration etc) that is the demon.  

I often look to Buddhism for better ways to get rid of my demons. Sometimes its answer is simply, “Sit. Here is a cushion.”  I don't need to solve anything, just be with the feeling, the demon and it soon fades.

The questions to ask are: What am I fighting right now? Does it need to be fought? Am I making it stronger by resisting it? What might happen if, even for a moment, I gave up the struggle? Perhaps then I could glimpse a path toward release and acceptance.

The Buddist in War; Commentary on Zen teacher Nissim Amon's advice to combatants.

 References first.  

https://www.reddit.com/r/zenbuddhism/comments/17whqqx/israeli_zen_teacher_nissim_amon_gives_advice_for/

https://www.instagram.com/p/Czr6oiBtKdi/

https://youtu.be/n60VKiVY5Is?si=un-7DO_2jsQZqx7j

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14639947.2021.2145683#:~:text=Buddhism%20endorses%20the%20concept%20of,to%20protect%20what%20is%20good.

https://www.urbandharma.org/udharma6/militarycanon.html

https://www.thezensite.com/ZenEssays/CriticalZen/Making_Merit_Through_Warfare_and_Torture.pdf

https://buddhistmilitarysangha.blogspot.com/2010/06/dalai-lamas-message-to-armed-forces.html

https://www.h-net.org/reviews/showrev.php?id=29747

https://www.buddhistinquiry.org/article/the-buddha-taught-nonviolence-not-pacifism/

https://blogs.icrc.org/religion-humanitarianprinciples/a-humanitarian-re-reading-of-the-angulimala-sutta/#:~:text=The%20Angulimala%20Sutta%20is%20a,and%20wore%20around%20his%20neck.

https://alanpeto.com/buddhism/buddhist-soldier-military/

https://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/the-buddha-as-warrior

Nissim Amon, an Israeli Zen teacher, recently posted a video offering practical advice to Israeli soldiers on becoming “super fighters.” It has, unsurprisingly, ruffled some feathers.

Buddhism generally rejects violence, and refraining from taking life is the first of the Five Precepts many Buddhists undertake. Zen, however, has developed its own emphases and cultural expressions within the Mahayana tradition. In modern settings—especially among people drawn to “secular Buddhism”—Zen is often presented less as a religion and more as a practical philosophy, stripped of much of its ritual and devotional framework.

At its most familiar, Zen emphasizes direct attention to the present moment and full engagement with the task at hand. That helps explain its long association with disciplined practices such as flower arranging, the tea ceremony, archery, and martial arts.

Amon’s teaching fits that practical side of Zen: focus, breathe, let go. In the video I saw, he did not speak at length about who was being shot, nor did he explicitly call for killing a particular person. Of course, that distinction may feel like splitting hairs. Many viewers understandably heard the advice in the context of an actual war, where the consequences are anything but abstract.

The first part of his advice is about composure and precision: do not panic, do not hesitate, and use the breath to steady the mind before acting. The point, as he presents it, is disciplined attention under pressure.

He then turns to the importance of breathing and, after the battle, of resting and meditating rather than becoming trapped in guilt or anguish. His message is to stay functional during the crisis, then allow grief and emotion to come later, when there is room to face them.

The most troubling line is his call to be “without compassion or mercy” in battle. Yet versions of that idea appear in warrior literature, including the Hagakure and other writings associated with bushido: hesitation can endanger both the warrior and those around him. The Bhagavad Gita—not a Buddhist text—also unfolds on a battlefield, where Arjuna receives spiritual and practical counsel about duty, action, and violence. Buddhist literature, too, does not ignore conflict. Texts and stories such as the Seyya Jataka, the Mahasilava Jataka, the Kakacupama Sutta, and the Upayakausalya Sutra wrestle, in different ways, with aggression, restraint, intention, and the protection of others. These sources do not offer a simple endorsement of war, but neither do they pretend violence does not exist.

From the Buddha’s time to our own, wars, uprisings, and atrocities have touched nearly every region and culture, Buddhist or otherwise. We may long for a world without violence, war, or suffering; that longing is one reason we practice. Practice teaches us to see how violence creates more suffering. Wisdom, however, also asks us to acknowledge that violence exists—and that defense may sometimes become necessary. The hard question is not whether harm is good. It is how to respond without surrendering our humanity.

When I was staying at “my” temple, I once asked a monk, “What do we do if we are attacked?” He answered patiently, one step at a time. First, lock the doors and keep the gate closed. If someone gets in, tell them to leave. If they refuse, move away. If they chase you, run. If they strike, block the blow. If necessary, try to disarm them. And if every effort to escape or de-escalate fails, defend yourself appropriately. “We would try not to hurt them and try not to kill them,” he said. “If it happens, then we take on that karma, don’t we?” That was about it: remain as peaceful and nonviolent as possible, and if peace no longer protects anyone, do the least harm you can. He then told me a story about an archer and merchants on a boat—a story about weighing karmic action against the responsibility to protect innocent people.

In the end, a soldier has a duty and a sworn obligation to protect. That duty does not erase the karma—or the moral weight—of violence and killing. But a disciplined state of mind may reduce panic, prevent needless harm, and help a soldier avoid injuring an innocent person or animal.

For that reason, I understand what Amon is trying to offer. He captures something recognizably Zen about action: be present, do what must be done, and do not let the mind scatter. In a terrible war, that teaching may also offer soldiers a measure of steadiness and hope.

As I heard it, Amon was not calling violence into being; he was speaking to people already living inside it. In the video I saw, he did not call for the killing of a particular civilian, child, or named person. The implied setting was a soldier confronting another combatant. Even then, taking life breaks the first precept and carries karmic consequences. That tension should not be waved away. At the same time, it is unrealistic to imagine that an individual soldier can simply step outside a battle once it has begun. Having counseled war veterans and active-duty service members, I have found that offering them steadiness, hope, and a way to carry the moral burden of their experience is often more helpful than condemning them for the circumstances they faced. Compassion should not disappear when a person wears a uniform. If our aim is to foster calm, contemplation, and wisdom, then our response must be both morally serious and humane.

When we begin walking the path of Dharma, we meditate, contemplate the teachings, and slowly learn to see for ourselves why stealing, killing, and other harmful actions are unskillful. That understanding can help us grow beyond who we are—and who we have been. Angulimala, the murderer who transformed his life and became an arahant, is the most dramatic reminder that the path remains open even after terrible actions.

For me, that is the heart of the matter. The question is not whether violence becomes pure simply because it is committed in the name of duty. It does not. The better question is whether a person can act to preserve safety and justice without feeding hatred, vengeance, or delight in destruction. A soldier may be far from enlightenment and still take a first step toward wisdom by guarding intention, limiting harm, and remembering the humanity of everyone caught in the conflict. Zen cannot make war clean. Perhaps it can help a person move through an unclean reality with greater awareness—and return from it with enough humanity left to grieve, reflect, and heal.

 

ORIGINAL BEFORE EDITS ABOVE:  There is a Zen 'teacher' in Isreal named Nissim Amon.  He just posted a video on the practical tips for Israeli soldiers to become 'super fighters' and it has ruffled some feathers. 

In general, Buddhism abhors violence and taking a life is one of the first precepts we take as a practice when becomming a Buddhist.   However, Zen often has its own take and does not closely follow Buddhism as it is in other Mahayana or Theravada traditions.  This is why many times Zen is almost considered its own philosophy.   Especially in these modern times when people prefer what is now called 'secular Buddhism' that does not have dogmatic, ritualistic or religious undertones.  

Zen as it is focuses much more on the present moment, the task at hand etc.  This is why Zen has taken so well to practices like flower arranging, tea ceremonies, archery and even martial arts.  

Rev. Amon's take and teaching is right in align with the current teachings of Zen as it is.  Focus, breathe, let go.  He did not discuss who was being shot necessarily, nor did he say anything about killing another person.  Ok, ok.  This is splitting hairs and reading the opposite of what many have read into his video.  

The first part of the advice it to keep your composure and your precision.  To take the time to aim and then shoot, not to panic or to hesitate.  He teaches to take a breath and shoot once.  

Then he teaches the greatness of the breath , then after the battle, to rest. to meditate not on guilt or agony. Be able to let go and cry later, not duiring the battle. 

TO be without compassion and mercy at the time of the battle.  This is a common teaching of the Hagakure as well as other Bushido teachings, and all teachings of warriors and 'how' to battle.  In the Baghavadgita (although not a Buddhist text) the whole discussion is about war and violence and gives karmic and practical advice to a warrior or king's army.  In the Seyya Jataka, Mahasilava Jataka, Anguttara Nikaya,  Kakacupama Sutta,  Arya-Bodhisattva-gocara Upayavisayavikurvana nirdesa sutra, Upayakausalya sutra, among others describe war, soldiers and the responses to and for violence.  So it is not ignored, nor completely condemned as many would think. 

If we look back in time, all the back to The Buddha's time, there have been wars, fighting and atrocities in EVERY region and country, Buddhist or not up and into this very day.  We would love to see a world with no violence, no war, no suffering and this is why we practice.  We practice to understand that war, violence and such causes more suffering.  Just like the Buddha taught.  But to be wise means to understand that violence and war exisits and defending and fighting are at times necessary.

When I was staying at 'my' temple I asked the monk.  'What do we do if we get attacked?'  He said 'we lock the doors and keep the gate closed so bad guys don't enter'.  If they do?  'We tell them to leave'.  "If they don't?  'We get away from them', 'If they chase us?' 'We run', 'they hit us?' 'We block the hit'.  'If they strike us?' 'We try and disarm them', 'if they try and kill us?'  'If all of that does not work, we can defend ourselves appropriately'.   'We would try not to hurt them, try to not kill them, if it happens, well, then we take on that karma don't we?'  And that was about it.  So basically be as non violent and peaceful as you can.  There comes a point where that will not work, so do the least amount of harm.  Then he told me of the archer and the merchants on the boat.  A great story of weighing karmic action and debt in the face of violence and protecting the innocent. 

The truth of the matter is, in the end a soldier has a duty and a sworn oath to protect.  He or she is not exempt from karmic acts of violence or killing, but the right mind set can make sure he or she makes no mistake and hurts an innocent person or animal. 

I agree with Rev. (or Roshi?) Amon.  He has nailed the idea of being present and 'Zen' of an action.  Offering solace as well as hope to soldiers in this terrible 'police action' war.  

At the end of it all, he did not call for violence as it was already a reality and occuring for those he was speaking to.  He did not (in the video I saw) call for the killing of any specific person or persons (civilian, children etc).  It is assumed that the soldier is confronting another soldier.  It is indeed kill or be killed.  And yes, that does break the first precept.  And yes, there is a karmic debt.  But that too is a present action.  One cannot simply decide to not fight during a battle or war.  Having counselled many war veterans and active duty military I find that the offering of hope and encouragment to do the duty they signed up for is far more effective than admonishing them for the position they were in at the time of the battle.  That would be not very compassionate, nor wise.  Remember we are trying to foster calm, contemlpation and wisdom in people.  

When we begin on the path of the Dharma we begin to meditate and contemplate the teachings, and over time we can come to the conclusion ourselves that it is unskillful to steal, kill, etc.  In that we can become better and bigger than we currently are (or were) just like Angulimala did, and he became an arahant!  

The best example here (see references above) is the advice of the Buddha.  “Can you do this task as an upholder of safety and justice, fo­cused on love of those you protect rather than on hate for those you must kill? If you are acting with vengeance or delight in destruction, then you are not at all a student of Dhamma. But if your hard job can be done with a base of pure mind, while you are clearly not living the life of an enlightened person, you are still able to begin walking the path towards harmony and compassion.”  

Becoming a good human through practice

 One of the oldest teachings in Buddhism is that to be born as a human being is an extraordinary opportunity.

Not because we are more important than other forms of life, but because human life offers something unique. We experience joy and disappointment, success and failure, friendship and conflict, hope and uncertainty. We possess enough freedom to choose our actions and enough awareness to learn from them. Every day presents another opportunity to shape the kind of person we are becoming.

One of the newer tasks I have is as a 'SPIRE' educator (Special Programs In Religious Edcuation, for the Untited States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs).  Whether you are a cadet preparing to lead others, a student balancing school and work, a parent raising a family, or someone simply trying to make sense of life, the question is the same:

Who am I becoming through what I practice every day?

Practice is not limited to meditation cushions or temples. We practice every time we respond to criticism, complete a difficult task, speak honestly, face fear, keep a promise, or choose compassion over resentment. Our repeated actions become habits. Our habits shape our character. Our character influences the lives of everyone around us.

The Buddhist path is not primarily about believing certain ideas. It is about training the mind and cultivating qualities that help us live wisely and well. Patience, courage, integrity, compassion, mindfulness, and equanimity are not talents we either possess or lack—they are qualities strengthened through practice, just as physical fitness is developed through repeated training.

This guide is not intended to tell you what to believe. It is an invitation to observe your own experience, ask honest questions, and experiment with practices that have helped people cultivate wisdom for over twenty-five centuries.

Life will always present challenges: demanding studies, military service, careers, relationships, uncertainty, loss, success, failure, and moments that test our character. None of these can be avoided. Yet each of them can become part of our training.

The goal is not to become perfect.

The goal is to become more fully human.

One decision.

One breath.

One practice at a time.

This is a first stepping stone on my path as a teacher and guide. I am currently developing this into a theme for the year for my YouTube channel (The Centered Path) as well as my teaching/guiding at the United States Air Force Academy as a SPIRE instructor, at the hospital I do activity therapy at as well as recovery centers I work with. Wish me luck and come walk with me for a while?!

Impermanence and change

 'Things change, Kundun'...  

Indeed they do.  We had to (hopefully temporarily) close up shop and all meditations for a little while so I can find a new venue to have classes.  

The landlord of the building passed away and we had to move.  I am planning on more videos to post and perhaps do some online teaching as well. Let's see what happens!. 

Another part of the adventure.  Thank you all for following and helping me make this happen. 

I appreciate it. 

Dr. Sean

Putting practice into action. The 10 paramitas.

                    Putting practice into action, the 10 paramitas.   

I spend some time on Reddit and answer questions about Buddhism and mental health.  I work in mental health as a meditation teacher and activity specialist at a local mental hospital.  I am also a Buddhist minister/priest and both of those together really make a difference.  Over the past decade I have held meditation classes and dharma study at my office, there I have a small but dedicated group of people I would sincerely call my 'good Dharma friends.  They learn from me a little and I learn from them, alot.  

In today's world we have a very complex culture which is a mish mash of other cultures that at one time was proudly called the mixing pot of America, where all these things can come together and enrich eachother and benefit all.  Now we have 'diversity' training, cultural appropriation and the ever rich topic of 'colonization'.   So where does a practicing Buddhist put thier efforts?   

I was having a conversation with my teacher this morning.  I am invited to speak on mental health in Australia in August.  One of the topics is relating to how Buddhism can help others and to help make Buddhism more understood and accepted.   We discussed diversity.  Diversity is a fact.  We can see it all around us, we can hear it, sense it in all interactions we have in this super connected world of the internet.  However, what do you do with that?  We then have the choice to accept it, to work with it, to learn and become enriched because of it.  Right?

I do my work teaching people how to live better using Buddhism as a life practice.  Not necessarily to achieve Nirvana, to get to the Pureland, to achieve merit.  But to live in peace and learn to live in this world with people that are diverse.  To do this, we have specific trainings to do, the Paramitas. 

The Paramitas (which means 'perfections') and we try and perfect our actions to become more at peace with ourselves and the world.  Here is how you do that. 

The first of the Paramitas is 'Dana' which is simply 'generocity' this does not just mean money.  It means time, effort, money, work, and even generocity of love itself.  We practice this to help others practice more, and traditionally we want to support our teachers (the monks and nuns) which have no other jobs to make the bills etc, so we give to them when and how we can.  

The second is 'Sila'  which is the Pali word for 'morality'.  Morality is a complex topic and has many layers depending on social norms, laws, culture and tradition.  We study and practice being 'moral'.   We are trying to live 'right'.  Picking up after ourselves, being courteous, following just rules, promoting what is considered 'good' in society, the family and nature.  

The third is 'renunciation' or 'Nekkamma' in Pali.  What do we renounce?  Everything?  No.  Not for the laity.  For The Buddha he did renounce everything, left his palace, cut his hair, gave all his belongings away and renounced that life.  We, however, should only consider it if we can.  We can renounce other things like gluttony, wastefulness, pitiness, spitefulness, and opulance.  

The fourth is 'Khanti' or in English, 'patience'.  There is also a hint of foregiveness, and forebearance.  This is a very important one and as you can tell, inter twined with the previous ones.   Being patient with ourselves, others, the 'way' things are, and being observant.  This is where meditation really can make a differrence.  Especially insight meditations.  We start to see changes in our 'fuse' when we develop patience.  

Fifth is 'Energy' or in Pali called as 'Virya' (similar to virile and similar words, right?)/  We use and develop our energy, our enthusiasm and effort to do and be better.  This is a core concept in the paramis that feeds all  the others as well.  To keep our energy up for this work, we need to also meditate on the hows and whys we are pracaticing at all.  

Sixth is  on the list is 'meditation' or  maintaining a stable mind.  (Upekkha) or equanimity. 

Skillful means (honesty or truthfulness) in Pali (Sacca). 

Resolution/ Determination (Adhitthana)

Metta or loving kindness and good will. 

Wisdom (Panna)

The difference between the Paramis and Paramitas.  (Paramitas mostly Northern and Eastern). i.e. Mahayana.  In the Paramis but not in the Paramitas is renunciation, Truthfuilness, Determination, and knowledge.  

Causing my own suffering, all with the sole of my shoe.

 I have spent a lot of time around monks and nuns in temples, retreat centers and conferences.  There is a whole set of protocols to become more conscious of and I learn something every time I am with the monks and nuns.  I found that being very observant and careful have helped me to not only stay out of trouble, but gain the respect and trust of monks and nuns all over the world. 

After the tsunami of 2005 in Sri Lanka I had the great opportunity to go there and observe and participate in some of the recovery efforts.  I was there with a group called Bosath Educational Foundation where we sponsored schools and supplies for children in areas undeserved and in need.  The tsunami was a special time to be there  and not only see the efforts to recover and rebuild but also participate in the planning for future events and the Buddhist response.  I was there for the conference as a lay person, an atache for my teacher Bhante Chao Chu.  It was pretty early on in my experience with monks, nuns, temples and all the protocols, so I stayed in the background most of the time, observing and just absorbing the atmosphere and amazing experience. 

The conference center was set in three main sections, the center and front for the 'maha' sangha (the heavy hitters of monks and nuns, more senior and special guests, behind them was the sangha, the monks old and young.  Each chair covered in a white sheet, with ear-piece translation devices that were not offered to the laity and general attendees.   I, for example sat in the far back stage right, so I could possibly take photos.  Since I had a couple cameras no one really bothered me as I walked around and took photos from as many angles and distances as I could think of.  I am no photographer.  I took over 800 photos on that trip and probably only got two worth keeping. 

At one point in the day's events, Bhante motioned down to me to come to him in the front row.  At the time there was some presentation going on at the stage which he wanted me to take some photos of the presenter, my friend and Dharma brother Dhammaruchi.  He ran a Vipassana Buddhist Church in Missouri and had prepared a paper and presentation for the conference. 

As I knelt in front of my teacher, he instructed me on what he wanted and I completed the photos as he wanted them.  I returned to him and he motioned to have me sit next to him.  I did and showed him the photos on the digital camera.  I sat with him for a few minutes and became more comfortable.  Too comfortable.  I had sat with my legs crossed, in a figure four position, with the sole of my shoe facing the stage.  Soon a break was called and tea time was offered.  I was ecstatic to have some good masala tea and rushed out to meet with others and get some tea and cookies.  Enjoying the tea in a wonderful environment, looking out over the city of Colombo I could see fruit bats in a large tree, looking like giant leaves from so far away, they all took flight and I was amazed to see the spectacle of so many leathery wings leave this giant banyan tree.   Soon, I found a seat to sit and enjoy another cup and a small group of older women came to sit with me.  They asked who I was, how I had come to be here and etc.  I chatted with them and one, standing infront of me admonished me for sitting  and showing my foot to the Lord Buddha!  They explained the foible to me and told me they would be like my aunties and watch out for me for the rest of the day.  I felt terrible that I had done something that may have looked badly on my teacher and myself.   I was VERY self conscious of myself for the next session and when Bhante motioned me to come down to him again, I could feel those 'aunties' watching every move.   I told Bhante what had happened and apologized, he told me not to worry about it and take more photos.   Bhante wanted me to hear more of the presentations in French and Sinhalese and instructed me to sit in the center where the monks had the translator ear-pieces.  I was super hesitant, but he told me it was fine.  I found a seat and put the ear-piece in and began to take notes and photos.  Many seats were open around me, but in front of me was a very old monk and a very young novice who began to chat with me.  I could still feel the aunties watching me and felt very self conscious, so much that I tried to make myself look small, to no avail.  I am six feet tall, every monk around me was no more than 5'7".   Not only that I was in cargo shorts, and a blue tshirt.  They all were in maroon or orange robes.  Oh, yea, I had hair too, and am white.... 

A tea break was called and all the laity were instructed to leave the hall and tea in special cups with ginger cookes was handed out on China to the monks.  I started to get up and leave, but cups and saucers with tea and cookies kept coming my way.  I tried to pass them on, but soon everyone but me had one... Sitting there with a cup and saucer of tea in a group of monks was a bit much.  I told the elder monk in front of me that I must leave, but he had me stay... It was the most conscious I had ever been or have ever been drinking a cup of tea.  

Later in the day we had groups to discuss what things the buddhist community could do in light of the tsunami disaster and recovery efforts.  I sat in attendance with about 10 other people discussing an alternative to the Red Cross, as the Red Cross had not performed to the liking of the local governments.  We suggested something like a 'Red Lotus' or something to take the place of the Red Cross so Sri Lanka (and other Buddhist countries) could offer their own help.   I once had worked with an advertising agency called the Russ Reid Company that did advertising for World Vision International, among oher charities.  I told the group of this and my experiences helping with fundraising and list acquisition.   Within minutes a group of men showed up and asked me to follow them away from the group.   Once I did, they began to accuse me of being a spy for Christian groups and a saboture.  I hastily explained that I used to work for those companies and was not Christian, but a Buddhist.  Luckily Bhante came over and rescued me from the onslaught.  They demanded that I denounce World Vision and Christianity publicly infront of the conference.  Luckily nothing else came of it.  

This trip was an adventure of a lifetime for me.  We toured Galle and saw so much, met so many survivors and heard their stories. I even got to meet Sir Arthur C. Clarke (He wrote 2001 A Space Odyssey) as well as The Patch Adams.  But that is a story for another time.