Death is a funny thing.
I think of it far too often, but then again, I am a Buddhist minister, it is part of the job.
Now, in the pandemic, we have it on our minds more often, and as I get older, it gets seemingly closer. O say 'seemingly' because death is only a breath away for all of us. We just don't know. I think as I get older and more and more relative and friends are now 'gone' I reflect more on that. I used to get very disturbed when I would hear of someone younger than me died. It would kind of make me check over my shoulder to see if death stood behind me with that fixed smile... 'Soon, friend, soon...' I would shudder.
Now, I see my elderly friends and watch people in the market and have some compassion for them, they don't seem to know what is in store... but then again, do I?
In Buddhism it is taught in a few different ways. One is that the consciousness is everlasting, we are like a crest or trough in the sea, here and gone again and again... The body is just the vehicle, one of the five aggregates that too is impermanent, just like thoughts, perceptions, volition, and consciousness.
The other way I have heard it taught is like recycling. Our body goes back to feed the worms and the plants the circle of life if you will. The mind is the same really. What ideas you said to someone years ago still gets recycled in their thoughts and those that they related the ideas to, or had it change the way they think and etc...
I often see posts on social media and wonder, when they die... how will I know. Will I care? Should I care? It would certainly lead to some depression if that is all I thought each time I say that picture or post and knew, they will not post any more. Weird, isn't it?
I know that moments are all that I have. I take them and really BE with them when I can. With my dog, he's 14 and I have had him with me almost every day since I got him, with my family I contact when I can make the time. I am the oldest of my clan now... weird isn't it?
I make sure my girlfriend knows I love her, I try and tell her often and show her in my own way of cooking or what ever it is... I try and be present with my patients and really be there for them, they are as important for my mental health as I would like to be for their physical health.
Today I called my teacher, Venerable (Bhante) Chao Chu. He has been my rock for over 20 years now. I speak with him and one of the common statements we give each other, is 'I am still alive. for now'... Weird isn't it?
I am alive for now... LOL...
The other part of this is that I often think of my own death. I have a heart arrhythmia that has been constant for as long as I can remember. I hear of people I know that pass from it as well... I try and eat better, exercise etc... but when the chime comes, that's it. Isn't it? Weird...
The Bardo.
The Bardo Thodol is a Tibetan version of the process of dying.. It basically means doorways that we pass through. Like the waking bardo, the dreaming bardo, the pain bardo and the bardo of passing or death the bardo of meditation and the bardo of reality. All of these are transient, and non substantial. That basically means not of any real lasting substance, that like a movie, when it is over... that is it, the players go on to different tasks as do we, the observer.
So what do we DO with any of this thought? I don't even know if Buddhism really gives and answer other than to know that everything is impermanent, ever changing and that attachment to it is what brings suffering.
Some forms of Buddhism present offerings for the dead; water for clarity and cleaning, foods that were favorites to the deceased, insence, a candle, a picture, a flower to show impermanence, etc. What will be on the altar for you? Do you care? Weird isn't it?
THe weight of it all. When a fish I have in the tank dies, I put it in the garden, say my goodbyes and wish it well in the next life, what ever that is. Apparently the most logical is a flower or weed... Isn't that weird.?
Om Mani Padme Hum... A chant I have said over thousands of the dead, from spiders, roadkill, dogs and people. Whether I knew them or not. Literally THOUSANDS of chants, in the mere feeble hope that somehow it will help THEM. I guess it is more for me though, as if any of it makes a difference... Isn't that weird.?
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